The Worldly Adventures of the Jacquesmayniacs
it's been a bit, and we've been up to a lot.
first i went up to Oakland and visited Upland Sports, a new sponsor for next year, and checked out our DMT shoes. there's nothing like flashy new shoes to feel fast, even if it's just sitting around the apartment.
then it was up to the northwest, for rounds #5 and #6 of the US Grand Prix of Cyclocross. we got to Seattle and it was . . . nice out. and not muddy. weird. the course was a great flowing route through Stellacoom, i've raced there many times and i'd say this was the best. (image by Tim Brennan)
lots of corners (especially when they added a bunch of U-Turns to add time to the lap) but it seemed pretty fast and well suited to my abilities, except for the Hill. if you've been to Stellacoom, you know what i'm talking about. i've been doing no running lately, so it hurt. accelerating off the top when you're legs are totally loaded up was pure mental ability. and that's where i made the difference, i chased an attack off the top of the hill with three to go, and ended up in the sprint for the final podium spot, which i lost. (photo thanks to Abbiorca)
so then it was down to Portland and a pretty boring course at a stadium in the middle of no-where. and the only terrain was the super-sloppy mud laid down by weeks of rain. what a polar opposite from the day before. and the race went terrible from the gun, i was in the top ten when we turned into the first mud bog, and not 50 meters in i was sprawled in the mud with a broken bike. it was one of those chain reaction crashes: this guy catches a rut, flys that way into the guy behind him, who barely avoids going down but flattens the next guy in line, which was me. i saw it happen in perfect detail, but it was so quick i didn't even turn before there was no front wheel under me to turn.
and if it had been a road crash, i'd have been laid out smashed to bits, but i just surfed mud forever, got run over squarely in the chest (with no marks), just kept sliding and rolling and nothing seemed to slow me down. finally got up and i was a monochromatic monster with a thick coating of mud everywhere. i couldn't hear out of one ear, it was so coated. there were still guys going down and i dodged a few other trying to pick their way through, and then looked for my bike. i saw at least 4 bikes laying around in my general area and i could not, for the life of me, tell which one was which. not a spot of color showing on any of them. i grabbed one, no it had shimano levers, put it back. found mine, only to see the derailleur dangling, completely off the bike. race over, but now the fun in the muck begins, so i start a 10 minute run to the pit for my spare. i ran past a few people i know in the crowd, looked directly at them, and they had no idea who i was. my pit crew, when i finally got there, knew it was me only because i hadn't come by yet.
so i went for a ride in the mud, it was a blast and i was having a great time with a bit of a smile on my face but it was not to be and i flatted my spare bike just past the pits. i was not going to run or ride all the way around to the pit just so they could tell me i had no more bikes to ruin, so i cut off the course to the showers. a quick turn around, a bite to eat with my new teammate Omer and his gal, and then off to the airport for a late flight home.
and then up at the crack the next morning and back to the airport, 7 hours total in San Jose but it all good cuz we went on vacation.
yes, Baja California Sur, in the tropics.
did a bit of this:
and some of this:
Chase spent a lot of time in the water, going for boat rides etc. :
we had to outfit him correctly:
if there's any entomologists out there, can you identify this:
there's a bit of a debate over this moth. if that is what it is.
so anyway we're back and it's back to reality, Chase is back to his regular schedule (eat sleep poop) Goldi is back at school working hard, i'm back on the road with the start of my road training, Andy is already out of the country on business, and Josie is still recovering at home in Crapitola. what a great vacation and a great way to get the head on straight for the upcoming work to be done.
first i went up to Oakland and visited Upland Sports, a new sponsor for next year, and checked out our DMT shoes. there's nothing like flashy new shoes to feel fast, even if it's just sitting around the apartment.
then it was up to the northwest, for rounds #5 and #6 of the US Grand Prix of Cyclocross. we got to Seattle and it was . . . nice out. and not muddy. weird. the course was a great flowing route through Stellacoom, i've raced there many times and i'd say this was the best. (image by Tim Brennan)
lots of corners (especially when they added a bunch of U-Turns to add time to the lap) but it seemed pretty fast and well suited to my abilities, except for the Hill. if you've been to Stellacoom, you know what i'm talking about. i've been doing no running lately, so it hurt. accelerating off the top when you're legs are totally loaded up was pure mental ability. and that's where i made the difference, i chased an attack off the top of the hill with three to go, and ended up in the sprint for the final podium spot, which i lost. (photo thanks to Abbiorca)
so then it was down to Portland and a pretty boring course at a stadium in the middle of no-where. and the only terrain was the super-sloppy mud laid down by weeks of rain. what a polar opposite from the day before. and the race went terrible from the gun, i was in the top ten when we turned into the first mud bog, and not 50 meters in i was sprawled in the mud with a broken bike. it was one of those chain reaction crashes: this guy catches a rut, flys that way into the guy behind him, who barely avoids going down but flattens the next guy in line, which was me. i saw it happen in perfect detail, but it was so quick i didn't even turn before there was no front wheel under me to turn.
and if it had been a road crash, i'd have been laid out smashed to bits, but i just surfed mud forever, got run over squarely in the chest (with no marks), just kept sliding and rolling and nothing seemed to slow me down. finally got up and i was a monochromatic monster with a thick coating of mud everywhere. i couldn't hear out of one ear, it was so coated. there were still guys going down and i dodged a few other trying to pick their way through, and then looked for my bike. i saw at least 4 bikes laying around in my general area and i could not, for the life of me, tell which one was which. not a spot of color showing on any of them. i grabbed one, no it had shimano levers, put it back. found mine, only to see the derailleur dangling, completely off the bike. race over, but now the fun in the muck begins, so i start a 10 minute run to the pit for my spare. i ran past a few people i know in the crowd, looked directly at them, and they had no idea who i was. my pit crew, when i finally got there, knew it was me only because i hadn't come by yet.
so i went for a ride in the mud, it was a blast and i was having a great time with a bit of a smile on my face but it was not to be and i flatted my spare bike just past the pits. i was not going to run or ride all the way around to the pit just so they could tell me i had no more bikes to ruin, so i cut off the course to the showers. a quick turn around, a bite to eat with my new teammate Omer and his gal, and then off to the airport for a late flight home.
and then up at the crack the next morning and back to the airport, 7 hours total in San Jose but it all good cuz we went on vacation.
yes, Baja California Sur, in the tropics.
did a bit of this:
and some of this:
Chase spent a lot of time in the water, going for boat rides etc. :
we had to outfit him correctly:
if there's any entomologists out there, can you identify this:
there's a bit of a debate over this moth. if that is what it is.
so anyway we're back and it's back to reality, Chase is back to his regular schedule (eat sleep poop) Goldi is back at school working hard, i'm back on the road with the start of my road training, Andy is already out of the country on business, and Josie is still recovering at home in Crapitola. what a great vacation and a great way to get the head on straight for the upcoming work to be done.
16 Comments:
The eat sleep poop comment is freakin' hilarious.
Man that beach looks nice... and it is so cold here. :(
"a monochromatic monster"
... sexy.
glad to hear you're fired and ready for next year. you let me know if you want to swing down here for a long ride - i'll take off a couple hours of work and try and give you some pushes late in some ride.
m
It's NOT a moth, by the way. Ben is the only one who thinks it was month. AJM, JMB and I all thought it was a hummingbird, disguised to look like a moth. (Fake antennae, fauz 2nd wings). So can any bird people out there confirm this?
Ben was right... it's a moth. The White-lined Sphinx. AKA: hawkmoth, hummingbird moth.
Crud. Google failed me.
sshhh ... don't tell him.
Hey Bro,
First of all, the Portland course didn't suck. Your luck did. That course was awesome. It had hard boggy parts mixed with super-fast road sections. Perfect for deciding who was the real strong-man.
Second, WTF, I was the next guy in line behind you and I managed to not crash... Your own teammate (TJ) was the one to take out your front wheel. Mayhem.
Third, WTF about getting waxed by a f-ing MTB'r in a SPRINT, roadie. The MTB guys go hard off the corner hard but dont finish it off... You KNOW they wont shift to a harder gear once they max out, it's easy to come by...
Fourthly, WTF about not enlarging the CABO sticker on CJM's forehead... Nobody can see it!
Fifthly, your CX bar position is way too high, and you can see it in this picture. I could barely turn your bike in the halloween race... Lower that shit.
Sixthly, It's 2am in Taiwan and I'm tired of drinking Duvel and heckling my brother, so I'm going to bed.
Seventhly (?), there's no way that thing was a moth, so F-off.
Later.
so much for brotherly love...i can't wait to see the outcome of this domestic squabble.
at districts?
or fairgrounds?
two words, bro:
drinking buddy.
and it is a moth, even goldi has acquiesced to this reality.
Jeez, for a guy looking as bad as he is in retirement, he sure runs a lot of schmack.
I'll take BJM in a full contact cage match smackdown.
Funkdaddy: only if AJM is ever in town again. Have you heard his latest travel plans? Ben travels a lot, but that man is NEVER home.
Yes, dear. You're right. (RIIIGHT)
no worries goldi, i got your back...
glad to hear you guys had a relaxing and fun filled vacation!
okay, i fixed the pic of chase.
and the beach was nice, except if you look close all the birds down at the water line are FEEDING ON THE DEAD FISH CORPSES FLOATIG AROUND!! and you're hatig life if you step on a dead puffer fish, which are found in prodigious amounts.
i still don't know how you got the negra modelo label mirror-like.
but i appreciate it.
... and ajm is just jealous 'cuz he's gettin' all chubby corporate (even with the titty-ring).
the upsidedown label was mexican labor at it's finest...maybe too much of their own product. didn't make a difference to me, it still went down just fine.
and i wish if i ever have to go corporate it'll be with such a company as the big S. lets see:
-ride every day on company time...with your boss.
-mess with uber cool bike stuff that us plebs won't see for at least 2-3 years.
-2 words: premier executive.
-free bike stuff so far up the wazoo it's not even cool anymore.
-good pay.
-sure some of the people there LIVE the company line (it exudes from their orifices) but if you really need to find bad things to say about paradise then just go be cranky somewhere else.
and he's got 'em both pierced. look closely.
you said "orifices."
btw upside down label's so you remember what you're drinkin' while you're drinkin' it...
thanks for the spanking on sunday.
may i have another (on sat)?
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